Man, life is crazy. If I had kids right now, I would definitely be in a straight jacket headed towards the looney bin. Yet, I really want to start trying for kids, but it probably is not the right time. I want to start, but if my mom dies in the next year I am afraid of two things: 1. she dies while I am giving birth. 2.the emotions of this next year could stress me out a lot and cause me to miscarry. Sorry, if you are new to this blog, my mom has cancer and has been given 9 months to live.
Mom just finished her first round of chemo pills. She did great! Her next round will be in 3 weeks or so. We go down every other week and visit and that has been cool. We bring the grand-doggies and they liven up the trip.
Work is going well for the both of us, but life is just really busy. I get really excited when I have a moment in the day to spend just chillin. I have made it a priority every morning to do my devotions and I praise God for that! He has really helped me keep that one in check. I can't get through this life without Him. I can't get through the stinken day without Him. I am desperate for Him.
Plus, I have loved moments in my car, when some good Christian music is playing and I am just worshipping God in my car, man that is good stuff! I love Bebo Norman, Addison Road, Hawk Nelson, Mercy Me, Brandon Heath, Superchick, Francesca Bertacelli(I think that is how you spell it????). It's great!
Youth Group is going well. We just love our teens! I wish we had our own room or area in the church instead of the downstairs. Why can't we have the sanctuary?? Aargh, that really gets on my nerves, but don't worry, I just ultimately want youth there on Wednesday nights. That is what is most important.
I have good days and awkward days. All my days are good, I just have moments where life comes crashing in on me. The thought that my mom might not be around in a few months just punches me in the stomach sometimes. I will see grandma's with their grandchildren at the mall or just about and it just takes my breath away, because I think, 'I won't get to see my mom hold her grandchildren and that just gets me all choked up'. As dad would say, this 'double sucks'. Then I have days where I just remember that even if it's God's time to take her home, then it is temporary, I will see her again. But, it just really is so weird. Sometimes I think I am dreaming. It is all soooooooo weird, yet God is with me and I am thankful. I am especially thankful that I can be totally honest with Him about everything and He is there for me and listens, even in the really hard times. I am also in 'fight' mode with my mom's cancer. We have entered chemo mode and I have hit that 'fight/hope' mode that we can win this. Yet, I am finding myself having to find balance, because I have to be prepared for the fact that we might not win this battle and she could still die. That is really tough too. Yet again, the Lord is ever with me, reminding me that I will be okay, they will be okay, etc. He will get us through, no matter how much the tempest rages around us. He will be our Peace.
How is everybody??? How can I be praying for everybody??
Love you all lots,
Susan
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Crazy Times but Comforted by Christ
Sorry everybody, it has been a while. But, there have been many things happening and I have been just trying to take in life lately. I have been making my devo time in the morning consistent, because I sure need it these days and Christ needs to be first. He has been mine and Michaels true source of comfort, peace and joy.
Well, here is the new update: Mom was diagnosed with Melanoma Cancer(yes, usually skin cancer), but it is inside her liver, lung and breast. The tumor in her liver and her lung are both an inch in diameter. Once someone has melanoma inside their body it is an automatic Stage 4 diagnosis. For those of you wondering, there are only 4 stages. So, they have given her 9 months to live. Surgery is not an option because opening up those areas where the cancer is will only make it spread further. Chemo therapy does not work all that well. There is a chemo pill that has been proven to reduce the size of the tumor and she will start that in two weeks. It will not remove the tumor but could lengthen life expectancy and will definitely relieve pain. So, that is where we are now.
Michael and I will be in Bowling Green, Ky. every other weekend and we will be taking a family vacation after her second round of chemo pills, which will be in two months.
My mom and dad are doing well. We had a praise report the other day. The cancer is NOT in her brain or in her bones and that is a huge praise. We prayed a lot about this and God was mercifully gracious to us in allowing this disease not to be in those two areas. We are so thankful to God for that great answer to prayer! My dad is sweet, his new mantra is, "This double sucks." My dad is still enamored by his wife and loves her dearly. Their love for each other is very evident and it breaks my heart that my dad has to go through this. We love my parents a lot and are so thankful for them and their dedication to Christ during this very difficult time. My mom believes that God wants to use this time for us to show others how to be strong and joyful during hard times. She is usually the prophet of the family and I really believe that is what God wants us to do, even though at moments its really difficult. Especially, in my jobs where it's best to have a smile on my face most of the time. My Chick-Fil-A family has been superb. The owner prayed over me and one of my co-workers prayed for me. I am so honored to work at that great company! God is Good. Michael and I are just seeking God and being there for one another.
No news on Michael's mom.
How is everyone else? How is God working in your life? Share your stories of times when God strengthened you in a really tough time. I would love to hear your stories.
How can I be praying for you all.
Love to you all,
Susan
Well, here is the new update: Mom was diagnosed with Melanoma Cancer(yes, usually skin cancer), but it is inside her liver, lung and breast. The tumor in her liver and her lung are both an inch in diameter. Once someone has melanoma inside their body it is an automatic Stage 4 diagnosis. For those of you wondering, there are only 4 stages. So, they have given her 9 months to live. Surgery is not an option because opening up those areas where the cancer is will only make it spread further. Chemo therapy does not work all that well. There is a chemo pill that has been proven to reduce the size of the tumor and she will start that in two weeks. It will not remove the tumor but could lengthen life expectancy and will definitely relieve pain. So, that is where we are now.
Michael and I will be in Bowling Green, Ky. every other weekend and we will be taking a family vacation after her second round of chemo pills, which will be in two months.
My mom and dad are doing well. We had a praise report the other day. The cancer is NOT in her brain or in her bones and that is a huge praise. We prayed a lot about this and God was mercifully gracious to us in allowing this disease not to be in those two areas. We are so thankful to God for that great answer to prayer! My dad is sweet, his new mantra is, "This double sucks." My dad is still enamored by his wife and loves her dearly. Their love for each other is very evident and it breaks my heart that my dad has to go through this. We love my parents a lot and are so thankful for them and their dedication to Christ during this very difficult time. My mom believes that God wants to use this time for us to show others how to be strong and joyful during hard times. She is usually the prophet of the family and I really believe that is what God wants us to do, even though at moments its really difficult. Especially, in my jobs where it's best to have a smile on my face most of the time. My Chick-Fil-A family has been superb. The owner prayed over me and one of my co-workers prayed for me. I am so honored to work at that great company! God is Good. Michael and I are just seeking God and being there for one another.
No news on Michael's mom.
How is everyone else? How is God working in your life? Share your stories of times when God strengthened you in a really tough time. I would love to hear your stories.
How can I be praying for you all.
Love to you all,
Susan
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